The day began normal. We rushed around to get ready. Skyped my sister, grandma, and Mom's boyfriend (who were all out eating at Applebee's together). Rushed to the hospital. Found out we needed the confirmation number for the bank transfer and spent an hour at hospital admissions trying to get that. The next thing I knew, there I was in ICU being told it was time to leave so they could put my mom into an induced coma. I could have said something comforting, something insightful. I could have told her how much I loved her and that it was going to kill me to even spend a week without her. I could have held her and told her how strong and inspiring she was and that I knew she would be okay. I could have told her that she was the most amazing person I knew and how there were so many people praying for her and how God was going to wrap his arms around her and protect her. There I was...and all I could say as I gently leaned down to hug her was "I'll see you in a week." It's all I've been able to think about all day.
The ICU waiting room was occupied by two families who looked like they were dealing with a lot and I didn't want to intrude, so I made my way back to the lobby. I sat down in the cafe and waited for the okay to go back and see Mom. I was crying and laughing thinking about happy times before the CRPS came back and consumed our lives. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person. I thought I had finally gotten myself under control when Dr. Cantu came down and asked me how I was doing...apparently not well because I became a blubbering mess again. He explained exactly what they did to Mom and told me he would find out the visiting hours and text them to me.
Un ratita (a little while) later Sarah showed up with lunch for me. Sarah is the mother of another coma ketamine patient, Jessica. They moved here from Naples, FL two years ago to be close to Dr Cantu for treatments. Sarah has been a Godsend. She speaks fluent Spanish now and has arranged all our rides, the money transfer, our hotel. She even got us a great deal on the hotel, since she has stayed there so many times. I truly don't know how we would have managed without her. She gave me the grand tour of the hospital. How to get food at the cafe (more difficult than it sounds), withdrawal pesos, and "sneak" into the ICU. I got to meet her other daughter, Michelle, who is visiting from FL for the summer. We got along so well. It's going to be nice having them around for the week. It makes me feel much less alone.
We hung out and talked until 4:30. I still hadn't heard back as to whether or not I could go see Mom, so I texted Dr Cantu and asked...he said I could. I braced myself as I stepped into the room I had left her in. Sarah had prepared me for the spectacle of tubes and machines I would see hooked up to my mom, but it was still difficult. I asked Dr. Cantu if it would still hurt for me to touch her. He said that she was getting so much ketamine that she wouldn't feel pain. So I held her hand and rubbed her arm, things I haven't been able to do since January. I talked to her and told her how well she did. I read some of my cooking magazines and talked to her about the different recipes (I knew if I did that she would feel my presence and know it was me there lol). I told her I loved her and that I would think of something much more eloquent to say to her when she woke up.
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